Into the Lions Den

stressymumToday I woke up with a burst of courage.  This happens rarely, maybe twice a year, but when it does it’s a fantastic feeling.  My energy and mood is so contagious that even my kids know something is different about today.  This bit of courage gives me the ambition to take all of my children out of the house completely on my own.  For most parents, heading out in public with their kids may not be a scary affair but with me, it can be terrifying.

I have twin toddler boys who have hit the terrible twos and a 7 month old daughter who has just mastered crawling.  Now the very thought of being strapped down to something is heartbreaking for her.  If her little lips could speak they would tell me how she needs to roam free and those awful pram straps that are hindering the marvelous adventures that await her.

It is always difficult to logistically figure out how to venture out of the home with all three.  I now people do it…When I do, I feel like I look like a circus with twins in a stroller while I hold my daughter in a baby carrier in front of me.  I’ve had strangers asked if I was offering any more rides on my back…. (Cheeky so and so’s)

The zoo seemed like a do-able adventure to take the children to today.  A mum friend of mine had called the day before asking if we were interested in heading to the zoo for Wild Summer Nights.  This is an event that they do when the weather gets lovely enough for people to picnic while listening to music. When she had asked, I told her I would need to sleep on it because I needed a night to mentally prepare for any sort of outing that involves taking all three kids out on my own.  The hubby was working so my extra set of hands was gone.  The next morning, with the phrase “I can do this!” streaming in my head since I woke up, I texted her and said I would meet her there.

We arrived on time and the kids were doing great.  No meltdowns yet and we were off to find a spot to lay our blanket out.  The kids were still strapped down into the stroller when we were finally done setting up.  I set their little sister down on the blanket and debated if I should unstrap the out of the stroller.  If I could have, I would have kept them in there but their little legs were kicking with excitement.  They couldn’t wait to be let out.   My confidence started to waver.  I watched my friend take her toddler daughter out of her stroller and looked at her in awe as she sat politely on the blanket while waiting for her mummy to get her a drink.  “I can do this” I repeated again in my head.  I just needed to be confident in my own children’s ability to behave.

As soon as the straps were off, they were off like wild monkeys who had been caged up for too long.  I was completely horrified.  It was obvious that my twins had yet to learn about personal boundaries or space.  They thought every picnic there was their own personal buffet.  They quickly spotted their favorite treats, strawberries and chips, and would take them, sometimes directly off of a stranger’s plate.

While I was chasing down one kid who had stolen a stranger’s phone (anything with buttons is like catnip for my toddlers – they go crazy), the other was helping themselves to anything and everyone’s food at their picnic.  I was hot, sweaty and exhausted from chasing my kids. I was tired of the constant apologizing I was doing to everyone around us.  I had brought out the dreaded kid reins that I only break out as a last resort which meant I was desperate.  Needless to say, they despise them as much as I do.  I couldn’t even get it on them.

Only 10 minutes in, I threw in the towel.  It was clear to me why my burst of courage to take my children out happen so rarely.  As I wrestled 2 screaming kids back into their strollers, I apologized to my friend…and everyone around us.  Maybe one day, when this bit of courage visits me again, my kids will surprise me and be the lovely children I know they can be.  God, I hope so.

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Diary of is a regular blog, by a regular Greenwich mum. Sharing experiences as a local parent (and member of this website) she’ll be writing about everything and anything. And being completely anonymous – you never know – you could have stood next to her in the Post Office or behind her in Cafe W…

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About DiaryOf

Diary Of is a regular blog, by a regular Greenwich mum. Sharing experiences as a local parent (and member of this website) she’ll be writing about everything and anything. And being completely anonymous – you never know – you could have stood next to her in the Post Office or behind her in Cafe W…